Day 27

Day 27

Today I want to cover a bit about depression. I have had it really bad and I have it now. I don’t ever think I will be free completely from it. But that’s not me saying that its hopeless and I am not happy.

Depression is like a light bulb, that can be dimmed but then again it can shine…Having a shining depression bulb (we will call it a debulb for short) is the worst. Its when your thoughts betray you and you become trapped. The people around you don’t see that you are trapped, They may see you as a smiling laughing full of life person that makes everyone around them happy…or they may see a difference like how angry you maybe, or sad. They may blame it on your past, however they see you its not how you are…inside you are sad and hurting.

They say that depression is an imbalance of the chemicals in the brain. I believe that to be the case. I also believe that I felt worse then ever when I ate the stuff that I can not eat on the challenge, that said. I am happy but I get my low days and they can be bad as crying all day to shutting my self away and just managing.

Depression is a daily fight, with me I get sad when I have a lack of energy and that can be because I have vitamin deficiency anaemia. This is where my body can not absorb vitamin b12 this can cause a few other issues.

This is one of the many reason why I have to complete the challenge to improve my overall health. Not only that but to help others to start improving their lives as well.

The debulb is hard to turn off, in fact I feel that it might not have a switch. Sorry to be a burden for those fair few that do believe there is a start and finish to the depression. If you are right then I am glad. But I have had it for years and still cant shake it off. Although I have come miles from the major type of depression, I still have my debulb and sometimes it shines to damn bright.

When I have these days how do I change it and make it calm down…I have a debulb list of things that make me happy and smile not just on my face but inside too.

What makes me happy when I am a shining debulb,
• Dancing
• Singing
• Music
• Speed walking…when I am angry
• Having a hot bath
• Walking
• Cooking

I didn’t mention it, but eating is one of my favourite things to do when my debulb is shining. That has changed in the last few weeks, I am not too sure why either. I am guessing it might be to do with the lack of chemicals that are now in my diet. The challenge does have benefits….AND I hope that within time you will all see the benefits for your self though me!